Ask Dr. AJ: Leading in difficult times and role clarification

Q1. My employees/colleagues are all SO stressed out by everything that is happening in the world right now! How do I show them that I am empathetic but also keep us making progress on our work?

You are right. Everything is pretty bonkers right now. It's likely your colleagues have been directly or indirectly impacted by national and/or world events, so your inclination toward empathy is appropriate and commendable. Don't forget to direct that empathy toward yourself once in a while, too!

I also understand that we need to get work done in order to survive. Most of us do work that enables us to contribute to society in addition to making money, and that is a good thing. But it can be hard to do when we're super stressed.

So here's the thing: do your best to create a space around you where colleagues feel safe, if only for a little while. When the world is too much it is essential to spend time among people we care about and work can be one of those places. That's not ignoring the world outside, it's letting our nervous systems regulate for a while so we can handle going back into the chaos.

That might require dialing back the hustle culture a bit - but don't let go of all expectations, as we all want to feel like we're contributing to something. Talk to your team about what is reasonable in this moment.

Use Calming, Clear, and Concise language to express how world events are impacting your workplace and/or your field, the values of your team/company, and if possible how your work contributes to make the world a better place.

That will look different in every workplace. At Thriving Ibis, it would be appropriate for me to look at my Executive Assistant Konnie and say "F*ck ICE!" - we wouldn't need to say much more, but that's reflective of both our relationship and company values.

At your work it may look like explaining the impact of world events on your work, what you are doing about it, and expressing empathy for how it might be impacting folks personally. Try not to wax on or get too riled up about what is happening - that will ramp up everyone's anxiety and nervous systems. Acknowledge, offer support, and create community among your colleagues.

Times of unrest require some real intentionality on the part of leadership. So take a moment to think through how you might communicate with your colleagues in a Calming, Clear, and Concise way, and to establish some safety. Everyone around you will benefit.

Q2. I don't understand what my role is! I thought I was hired to do ABC and find myself doing XYZ, or I keep getting busy work when I want to be really contributing.

To start solving this issue you need to get tactical for a minute. First, follow these steps:

1. Find a current version of your position description

2. Document what you have done or been asked to do in the last year or so

3. Make a list of growth areas and/or what you want to be doing

4. Compare 2 and 3 to your position description and make note of differences

Take those notes to your supervisor for discussion. Point out the differences, what you think your role is or what you want it to be, and ask for help reconciling it all. If your supervisor's expectations of you are unclear, make sure to ask about those.

This may or may not result in an actual new PD, but it will open the door to clarity. Make sure to check back in semi-regularly as you get a feel for your new understanding, to make sure it's working for both you and your supervisor.